Don’t get me wrong: I hugely admire Ben Goldacre for his vicious skewering of hacks who peddle bad science. It’s just that I have this irrational fear that one day I’m going to open the newspaper and read that he’s keeping his followers captive in a jungle compound.

I mean, don’t you think it’s all going to his head a bit? Especially since he didn’t win the Samuel Johnson prize. (Sorry, Ben, that just slipped out – I didn’t mean it. Put that meat cleaver down!)